Thursday, April 06, 2006

Comparing Apples to (Gr)apples

I might need to reconsider my Wegmans impulse buys. After the kiwano incident, you'd think I would have learned my lesson. But no. I was initially enticed by the lovely grape-y smell emanating from the plastic four-pack of something called "grapples." I though I was having olfactory hallucinations until I saw the label, which proclaimed: "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape." I had to take them home with me.

But when I got home, I visited the official website, where I learned that (a) grapples will solve childhood obesity, and (b) "They are not genetically altered in any way." Damn. Turns out they just dip them in superconcentrated Concord grape flavoring. My mental picture was of a sweet, juicy lab full of crack scientists struggling to cross the apple and the grape. Exhausted and stained with grape juice, they are about to give up hope when one of them yells "eureka!" and the grapple is born.

Biting into one reveals that the tagline is slightly off. It should read: "Looks like an apple. Tastes like an apple. Smells like grape Bubblicious." Sigh.

15 comments:

Alanna said...

And werent't the apples-dipped-in-juice like $5 a pound? Now THAT's "good" marketing ...

the chocolate lady said...

Those poor apples! Yuck.

What's next?
avapple: avocado-flavored apple?
strapple: strawberry-flavored apple?
bapple: banana-flavored apple?
I guess they will not try to market cranberry-flavored apples. And what would you call a pineapple-flavored apple? Oh, wait--

Just one more--

APES!

Apple-flavored grapes, Tarzan's favorites.

Cyndi said...

Damn. All this time I thought grapples were truly grape-flavored. Like you, I envisioned some sort of genetics or other science involved. You know what I think they smell like? Dimetapp. That purple cold medicine your kids will take. But yes, Bubbliicious, too. Thanks for the information! I guess I'll stick to real apples.

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