Thursday, September 29, 2005

I Can't Believe I Failed to Eat Vegan: IMBB #19

Anxious to get involved in the IMBB scene, I spent days pondering vegan recipes. Vegan gingerbread? Falafel? Can pasta be vegan? I was uninspired. After much consideration, I decided my only choice was to counter-blog IMBB #19. But it seemed inadequate to simply cook some meat and thumb my nose--not at all in the IMBB spirit. Instead, I devised my own little challenge: create the ultimate anti-vegan meal, and thus redeem myself in the eyes of Becks and Posh and the rest of the (blog) world.

I used this post at Is My Blog Burning? as my shopping list. The goal was to consume as many types of animals and animal products as possible in a single meal.

The first course was goose liver pate on baguette. I would have used full-on genuine morally objectionable foie gras, but I shop at Whole Foods. (What does it say about me that my grocery store has more of a conscience than I do?) The label informs me that I consumed the internal organs of goose and duck.

(NB: I realize that not all vegans choose to eat the way they do for moral reasons. But to create a truly anti-vegan meal, I thought it would be best veer as far as possible for the vegan beaten path.)

For the main course, I would have liked to get some Chilean Sea Bass, since it is apparently being overfished and threatened with extinction. But alas, I was thwarted by Whole Foods once again. I settled for sauteing a salmon steak, on the grounds that having the word "steak" in the name got me extra negative vegan points.

On the side, I planned baby squash roasted with coins of chorizo sausage. Eating tiny, infant veggies seems to go against the "compassionate, just, and kind" spirit of veganism, so I deemed baby squash to be the most anti-vegan vegetable. The sausage contained both beef and pork, making it a culinary double word score. I popped the whole mix under my broiler with a few sprigs of rosemary for 25 minutes and--because you can't be too careful--I drizzled everything with butter.

There was, naturally, a cheese course.

For dessert, I opted for buttermilk biscuits, topped with honey-baked plums and yogurt. The honey was the key ingredient here--the stolen fruits of untold hours of honeybee sweatshop labor--but the buttermilk, eggs, and yogurt did their part.

I cooked the meal wearing high-heel shoes boasting "authentic leather uppers" and used wool potholders. The table was set with a silk cloth. And I used a leather-bound book as trivet, just for good measure.

My only regret is that I was unable to figure out a way to work in animal gelatin. Mostly because I didn't want to think too hard about what such a thing might consist of. Everyone has to draw the line somewhere, right?

My badge of shame:

Tagged with: +


Katherine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jeff said...

Great site

Alicat said...

Good for you girl!

I tried to find something Vegan as well..but I simply pettered (sp?) out and gave up quite quickly.

Great job! :D

kevin said...


Outstanding! The only thing I would have altered was using lard in the biscuits.

Brett said...

Hilarious! Although I can't speak for the whole blog world, you've redeemed yourself in my eyes. The least vegan thing I ever ate in my life was at a restaurant in Barcelona. The biggest chunk of seared foie gras I've ever seen topped with a gloriously runny fried egg. And that was just the appetizer! Good luck with your blog.

Nic said...

Very funny post. Great set of dishes, too!

Katherine said...

Hey Becks & Poshers! Welcome.

Damn! What a missed opportunity on the lard, Kevin. Then the biscuits would have been even more flaky and uncompassionate.

Brett, I've had foie gras/egg cocotte. But your description really raises the bar. It's good to know such a thing exists in the world. After all, a girls gotta have a dream.

Katherine said...

Oh, here's the link to me on B&P:

kitchenmage said...

Sweet! I needed that laugh, and the heels were a nice touch. But I can't figure out why you need redeeming, you seem to have a marvelous thing going here.

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